I’m officially back to school for another semester. Hooray!!
Today was the first day back to work, tomorrow classes convene and Monday revival starts.
How exciting; new classes and new people to meet who are coming in for their first semester.
Christmas break was ok.
It was nice to see my family, I guess. To be honest I wasn’t ready to go home. I was enjoying my independence here at school and having my own life. Like I said in an earlier blog, I felt like a stranger in my own land.
Brenda still isn’t back and all I feel as I sit here typing this blog is loneliness. I’m trying to stay positive and keep my mind on the things of God, but it’s hard when I feel so emotionally drained. There are so many things running through my head; about my parents, my sister, my family, my past, my future…and for the most part they aren’t very positive things.
You know, the mind is a powerful thing. It’s amazing that what you think about can affect you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I love to think and day-dream. It’s one of my favorite hobbies! Unfortunately I waste a lot of my time doing just that, and hardly get anything accomplished. When I “wake up” I’m either in a more depressed mood than I was earlier (such as now) or a happier mood, I can feel sick to my stomach (like now), sometimes I feel like I’ve let God down, or that I’m right in the center of His will (and, actually, for the mood that I’m in I know I’m right where I aught to be with Him, I have no doubt about it). These are all huge results from just the little gears working in my head. Lol. Now there’s something, the psychology of thinking about thinking...very interesting.
Ughhh!!! I just feel like crawling in a hole somewhere, and I think the closest thing to that are my bed and the covers thereupon……but come on, that’s just absolutely ridiculous...isn’t it? Mental picture: me curled in a tiny ball, under my blankets, lost in my depressive thoughts. That’s kind of scary..."think positive things Megan."
Ok, since I don’t know what else to write I’ll end this very random blog with this quote,
“Words do not express thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish.”
~Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha