Just some random thoughts

I’m officially back to school for another semester. Hooray!!
Today was the first day back to work, tomorrow classes convene and Monday revival starts.
How exciting; new classes and new people to meet who are coming in for their first semester.

Christmas break was ok.
That’s all...ok.
It was nice to see my family, I guess. To be honest I wasn’t ready to go home. I was enjoying my independence here at school and having my own life. Like I said in an earlier blog, I felt like a stranger in my own land.

Brenda still isn’t back and all I feel as I sit here typing this blog is loneliness. I’m trying to stay positive and keep my mind on the things of God, but it’s hard when I feel so emotionally drained. There are so many things running through my head; about my parents, my sister, my family, my past, my future…and for the most part they aren’t very positive things.

You know, the mind is a powerful thing. It’s amazing that what you think about can affect you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I love to think and day-dream. It’s one of my favorite hobbies! Unfortunately I waste a lot of my time doing just that, and hardly get anything accomplished. When I “wake up” I’m either in a more depressed mood than I was earlier (such as now) or a happier mood, I can feel sick to my stomach (like now), sometimes I feel like I’ve let God down, or that I’m right in the center of His will (and, actually, for the mood that I’m in I know I’m right where I aught to be with Him, I have no doubt about it). These are all huge results from just the little gears working in my head. Lol. Now there’s something, the psychology of thinking about thinking...very interesting.
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Ughhh!!! I just feel like crawling in a hole somewhere, and I think the closest thing to that are my bed and the covers thereupon……but come on, that’s just absolutely ridiculous...isn’t it? Mental picture: me curled in a tiny ball, under my blankets, lost in my depressive thoughts. That’s kind of scary..."think positive things Megan."

Ok, since I don’t know what else to write I’ll end this very random blog with this quote,


“Words do not express thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish.”
~Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha